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rise from the ashes, the phoenix + all that jazz

by Dawn Martinello

In a little under 10 years, I went from a perky, happy-go-lucky, ass-kicking young adult to something that I can easily equate with an empty conch shell after the little hermit crab left it behind to take up a new residence.

Yep, hard to believe but it’s the truth. Pinky swear.

I prided myself on being stead fast. I was going to work at my marriage. But there comes a point when you have to give yourself (and your kids) the best chance of making it through life. In November 2010, I separated from my husband. There were plenty of reasons that led to the decision – don’t worry, none of them were physical abuse – but since I promised myself that I wouldn’t bare all on the internet for my son to find one day, I won’t go into details.

I packed up what was left of my little broken family, found a great place in the city and took up residence.

I chose this path because it felt right – it was right. But it certainly didn’t stop me from worrying what life was going to be like. I half expected to fall flat on my face.

And I expected to be broken, unfixable.
And I expected to be a quivering, sobbing, uncontrollable blob.
And I expected to be a struggling work-from-home-mom with a (then) 4 year old vying for my attention while the business I’ve been building for 3 years slipped through my worked-to-the-bone fingers.


And I was wrong.



Turns out that I was a hell of a lot stronger than I ever gave myself credit for.

See, when I left, I knew there was no turning back. There wasn’t going to be any happily ever afters. Knowing that meant digging in my heels and fighting like hell. It took awhile but eventually, that spark started flickering deep down in my belly. The more I dug in my heels, the stronger that fire became. Freedom meant choice. And with choice I knew I could take my life anywhere I wanted or needed it to go.

When my son started school this past September, I knew it was a fork in the road for me – it was time to kick things into high gear and start moving. I started doing things for me. I picked up books again. Music filled the house. I began seeing a massage therapist to keep the pain away instead of waiting until it was so necessary to see her because I could no longer move. I invested in my spiritual side with Grace Quantock’s Soul Detox Sessions because I knew that if I left my toxic marriage fester it would kill me. I started moving outside of my comfort zone – I went to a movie by myself. I met a Reiki teacher, signed up for the course, and added a new service to my business and more than that I started a brand new business after receiving my Master/Teacher certificate. And most importantly, I reconnected with my son.

SAY WHAT?


>>LIMITING BELIEFS – can overtake you. They can envelop you so you can’t see past your own damn face. Don’t sell yourself short because you WILL live up to your own expectations. When I stopped expecting that I would fail, I suddenly grew wings.

>>STAY OPEN – After I figured out how to fly, I used my new found talent on my business. My business wasn’t stagnant before the session, but afterwards it was like the invisible shackles exploded. It’s not until you see how much further your business can go that you realize how much it has been holding back. I had customers lining up in droves. If I remember correctly, I had 7 or 8 new client consults within a week of doing my business Reiki session. It’s slowed down to a more manageable number now, but they’re still coming. And it’s exhilarating.

>>YOU’RE NOT ALONE – Some people just need to hear a friendly voice that tells them that everything’s OK – you’re not alone and you’re doing things right. Some of us need a little more prodding. There is a world of people out there who are willing to give you a shoulder to cry on or lend a helpful eye. This fact was proven to me last week when I received an out-of-the-blue email from an entrepreneur I didn’t know who had spotted something on my site that needed my attention: my old B-School links were outdated and weren’t working.

>>THE UNIVERSE GIVES YOU WHAT YOU NEED – Sometimes, the universe just gives you a little somethin’-somethin’ that you need to get your business back on track. I like to keep my karma points hopping so I have some gifts for you.

1. Head over to my newest Fan Page and give it a like. At the beginning of every month, I pick one person to receive a free session. There’s a signup box to get in on the weekly mini doses of Reiki too. Doesn’t matter where you live – distance sessions are just as effective as those in person. Check out the testimonial from Bonnie to see just how effective they can be.

2. Check out the new and improved B-School. Marie has a ton of great advice and tips for free but if you sign up with my link, shoot me an email and I’ll hook you up with a series of 5 business Reiki sessions. The value: $375.00.

>>CALM AND MOVING – I gained 50 pounds after I quit smoking and had my son. I found exercise abhorrent and it usually made my back ache. Yoga on the other hand seemed to fit the bill. At first I didn’t think of it as exercise but I swear you’ll be sweating in no time. To keep all those crazy thoughts out of my head, I tried meditation. That worked so well, that I signed up for Heather Chauvin’s Awakening Your Child’s Confidence program that teaches meditation to kids. Kids feel stress too, right?

SO TELL ME KITTEN

What do you do to keep your business and life moving in a positive way?

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Charmina

I try to stay confident, but sometimes that only works 50% of the time. I haven’t found much success with writing so far, and it seems I’ve given up on it. Two more books in the works but no will to get it done. I think becoming a VA is right up my alley, I’m glad I found you.

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Dawn Martinello

If you think a VA is the right path for you, you should definitely consider working as a copyrighting VA or something similar. It may re-spark your interest in your books. Thanks for stopping in!

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Joanne

Wow, your story is so similar to my own. How do you keep motivated – I have so many ups and downs I’m sea sick. I hope I can find the same strength and get my butt headed in the right direction for myself and the success of my business.

thanks for sharing

Reply

Dawn Martinello

Hi Joanne!

Staying motivated can definitely be hard especially when life is throwing bomb after bomb your way. When that happens, I usually stop and take a look around … what have I missed? The way I see it, The Big Guy doesn’t hate you and isn’t trying to make you scream uncle. Repetition usually means you’ve missed the lesson somewhere.

Sometimes, it’s just a matter of keeping your eye on the prize. Give yourself some small, but measurable finish line. Inch up to that baby, then celebrate the shit out of it and make a new little goal.

The hardest part for me, was trusting myself again. I didn’t believe my gut was on the same frequency as me (why else would I stay in a life like that) … it takes some time kitten, but you’ll get there.

Much love,
Dawn

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